There’s Looking Young, and Looking Too Young

Everyone is amazed at the fact that I look much younger than my age.

I’m often told that I am lucky.  People envy me for my youthful apparance, or so they say.  And yet, I’m often treated like a child, not just by my parents, but also by total strangers.  It’s bad enough being female, but being a youthful looking female with large eyes, causes plenty of misjudgments from people around me.

Here are a few things to keep in mind for those of you who look very young.

1.  Most people will treat you like a child, or someone who isn’t smart enough for her age.

   I’ve often found myself in situations where people tried to control my life and either mother me or make decisions for me.  It’s bad enough when they feel you can’t fend for yourself.  There’s nothing more frustrating than someone who believes that you can’t even think for yourself.

2. Many will assume you’re naive or innocent.

   A former colleague once told me that when she first met me, she though me childlike until I spoke.  Then she realized I was the most mature woman in the room.

   Another told me that no matter how I styled my hair, I still looked like a kid, just a kid with a different hairdo.

   Speaking of hairdos, when I was in my mid-30’s I went to a salon and showed the stylist a photograph of a sexy looking woman in a really nice bob, and I asked for her to cut my hair that way.  As she was working on me, the stylist suggested cutting a frame around my face.  Since I figured she knew what would work with the shape of my face, I agreed.  Big mistake.  When she was done she said, “You look like a 12-year-old girl.”  No thanks to you.  I’ll think about whether or not I should give you a tip.  Good-bye.

   Another ex-colleague also called me a 12-year-old, when I was in my 30’s.  No, I did not like it.

3. More often than not they will assume you’re too nice and can’t say no.

   Yes, I can be helpful, but people need to stop taking advantage of kindness.  Nice people with nice faces don’t like being abused like that.  I do say “No” quite often. Don’t be so surprised.

4. Put downs

   Yes, I get them.  They’re usually in the form of “why” questions, and it’s usually when I’m being pro-active.  I’m not sure if this is because pro-activeness is so rare (when there’s so many who procrastinate), or if they’re just marveling at the child who had the insight to take the initiative to get something done.

So while looking young is nice, when you’re up against people who treat you like a child, it makes it difficult to appreciate it.